Do not go and see Signs. It is a bad, bad movie.
Went with a friend last night to see Signs.
It is one of the worst films I have ever endured in my life.Not just “Oh my, that was a waste of $9” bad (like I found The Grinch and Death To Smoochy to be). More “I cannot believe that anyone in their worst, most deluded, crack-addled moments would think this had the merest potential of being a good movie.” bad.
Fairly dull throughout, but the ending had me & me partner slack-jawed with incredularity, as master storyteller M. Night Shamalamadingdong cunningly weaves together a handful of dull badly-signposted non-sequiters from throughout the movie, deftly driving a mack truck through a handful of plotholes, to form an offensive-to-anyone-with-an-IQ-above-70 finale.
Sweet fucking Jesus, it was bad.
I’m a fairly easy going person. I can watch brain-dead and/or bad movies, and enjoy them. (After Signs, my chum & I decanted back to my place to enjoy Gremlins, which, while cheesy as all hell, at least wears its cheesiness with pride). But Signs was so contrived in its foulness—so smug in it’s “Ahhhh. You weren’t expecting that, were you?” attitude— it left me wanting to phone telephone numbers at random and tell complete strangers “Don’t go!”
It was that fucking bad.
Consider yerselves warned.