“Groovy Motherfucker”

Everything I own smells of burnt fajita

Today’s top tip: Don’t microwave a Hot Pocket for more than the recommended 2 minutes. Say, for 8 minutes… (and, hey, we’re lucky we caught it when we did—The microwave had been set for 20 minutes!)

Still, at least we know to warn our landlord that the smoke detectors in the apartment don’t detect jack.