“Groovy Motherfucker”

“And god help us if you’re running shuttle buses. It’s faster to walk. No, I mean it. I could walk home faster. I mean, isn’t that the absolute most basic measure of a mass transit system? That it’s faster than walking? And you guys even fail by that standard.”

“His campaign style is so completely unhinged that political observers openly speculated in 2004 that the then-73-year-old was suffering from dementia or Alzheimer’s … To scotch the rumors, Bunning was forced to hold a press conference and offer up doctor’s reports.”

“Ashley Morgan, 13, has used her ‘sonymusicexec’ MySpace profile to lure several bands to her Los Angeles home. Ashley was grounded so she couldn’t talk to us on the phone for this report.”